Of Losing and Gripping

Recommended tune while reading the post: Bitza - Vicii (or Linkin Park - One step closer or From the Inside, for the Charles Manson gene inside ;) )


Do you know that feeling you have just before you think you'll lose your grip? You know it, that one shot wonder that your self control blasts for half a millisecond before collapsing into instinct.

I love that feeling

I love it so much I can't wait to take advantage of it even, or especially, as some of my amigos might say, at the expense of a positive outcome. Is it an addiction, a vice? Is it masochistic? Who knows, who cares? as long as it's out there, waiting.

Now mind you, I'm not talking about refraining from God knows what atrocities you're capable of. That's easy to fix. Violent outbursts are no longer cool, sadly. I'm talking about the "other" impulses, the logical instinct. That's a killer, trust me. You know, the course of action that is both logical and simple to undertake as well as fruitful in it's end result. Or so it would seem. The truth is that these kinds of things hit you so hard in the long run that you won't know which way is up. Thus, common sense misleads you, logic betrays you and the instinct takes over. All this happens in a split second, a momentary blink of awareness which if you miss, you just took the blue pill.

So remember kids, if you see Schrödinger's cat with a big sly smile on it's face saying: "Screw you, I'm alive", jump in the first bus and get your ass straight home.

Congratulations, you just defied yourself.